


For The Love of Cake

by Vicious



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Mischief Managed - Fandom, 킬링 스토킹 | Killing Stalking (Webcomic)
Genre: Cake, Crack, Freeform Roleplay, M/M, RP, Roleplay, SL - Freeform, Self-Insert, does not make sense, role play, second life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 01:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicious/pseuds/Vicious
Summary: In which the fight for cake in "Killing Stalking's" chapter 24 escalates when two self-insert wizards from "Harry Potter" role play are added. Written as a silly background short fic for a "Second Life" Flickr photo; it is not a proper fanfic by any means.





	For The Love of Cake

**Author's Note:**

> This is absurdly shameless self-insert fanfic I written after reading ‘Killing Stalking’ chapter 24. Why? My husband really, really loves cake and would definitely try to save it from any psychological horrory works of fiction. 
> 
> Unfortunately, this makes even less sense as based it around our ‘Harry Potter’ roleplay characters from 2022 and above timeline (for the curious: it is Mischief Managed roleplay on SL, I do not recommend it but their wikia has some of the plot). 
> 
> Why do I post it to AO3? Needed a reliable portal to link it to my Flickr account photo which has been inspired by this idea and is located here: [Link](https://www.flickr.com/photos/31411824@N08/34025530783/in/dateposted-public/).

Val realises they should not have bought that time consuming Muggle box with moving pictures as his husband absolutely will watch cooking shows all day long. This might sound innocent to someone else, like his very own brother, to whom he tried to complain to on the phone but the bastard said he would not have minded going to Korea. And this is where Valentin Wolfram is now - in bloody Korea! Never mind the foreign place as he travelled a lot - he does mind not being able to read any label or even guess what is inside any packet. Miles? He is ecstatic and fiddling with every single item inside a random supermarket as no, his life companion cannot sightsee like any other tourist but needs to touch, smell and taste everything. 

“Val! Can you find the cakes? I don’t see any.”, says the object of his utterly misplaced affection while looking worried that some calamity destroyed all baked goods in the world … it certainly done so in this shop, however he can spot some pink frosted item which might be some sort of a miniature wedding cake; unfortunately when he does point it out to Miles, a random bloke nervously drags himself there and picks up the cake. “He doesn’t look excited for cake!”, exclaims his beloved husband while glaring at hapless dude who doesn’t even spare them a glance. “We have enough sweets, you looted all biscuits, ice cream and chocolates you could find.” says Val trying to be the voice of reason but his partner pouts in a manner which says ‘You better do get this cake or I will definitely pretend to be sad for the next hour’ and to be fair, this very same man has decided to apparate to Korea for a shopping spree due to some television programme. 

They’re both not below using some cheeky, illegal spells in front of Muggles (not that they know if the one holding the cake in his shaking hands is a wizard or no) and their opponent appears to be ill thus summoning the desert will be easy … or not as random couple entered the scene with possibly same ravenous intent. Miles scrunches eyebrows, then cocks his head while being possibly puzzled by what on Earth those folks are arguing about … surely cannot be the cake? Can it? Few minutes in, where they stand like some nature observers who hide in tall grass with their Muggle cameras, yet another man appears and possibly is related to the one who touched the cake first, however you can just tell that he is not letting the dessert go … ever. None of them realises they are being stared at by half of shops’ customers who really fancy this show or also want the cake but if they do - they do not attempt to steal it … and at this moment Val is not sure he will - the most recent newcomer has the creepiest smile he seen. 

Then the group leaves, could be that they arrived to some consensus but it does not include informing the cashier who tries calling after them when the cake kidnappers do not actually pay for it. Can see why the young kid manning the register does not attempt it as it is already night, he is the only one in the supermarket and there are no security guards anywhere. Unless Miles wants to be one because he pulls on Val’s arm proclaiming they definitely should follow them so no cakes will be harmed; they reach some sort of a game room where they witness the four contenders for the pink dessert line up behind a strength measuring machine - he cannot help but snort and lean into his husband’s ear to whisper a “They should have measured dicks.” and unfortunately no one whips one out but they do get lost in their semi-argument and too busy with the thing they punch. Of course they did leave the prized cake alone on a chair and no one checks on it or notices it hovering away from them … right into Miles’ hands … however, Val needs to give them some credit when they all turn around after his partner starts whistling cheerfully and carrying the cake away. The ill guy looks terrified, the couple is divided in reactions because the man appears to be absolutely livid while his girlfriend stares in resignation - Val would have been terribly amused if not for the last bloke’s face - he is smiling softly but you can just see the terrifying anger burning beneath his calm facade. 

It is nothing he cares about nor would see the lot any time soon or ever so he casually strolls out after Miles. Was it worth the wait, hatred and being cast in a very foreign situation in a very foreign country? It definitely was because Miles victoriously plops his stolen cake on the dining table back in their home but his grin turns to horror because … the dessert is frozen and not merely cold with some frost residue but totally encased in ice. “I hope you enjoy your cake as it probably will be your last meal - one of those guys looked ready to kill you.” he tells his absurdly sad husband who pouts at him with all the sadness he can muster … his bottom lip is definitely wobbling. “Don’t be mean! They weren’t wizards, right?” and he should not troll his lover this badly but cannot help himself to put on a pensive false mask then tap his cheek as if in deep thought. “Not sure … “, he says quietly as if uncertain but his acting skills must be deteriorating because Miles recovers fast, walks up to him leaving the cake behind, grabs his arm and drags him to their car. “Now, I want a swiss roll, let’s go to buy some!” … and when his partner says those words, he immediately lights up … so off they go.

And come back in half an hour armed with all the possible candy as during their second shopping trip, this time local, they came up with a brilliant idea of sneaking into Kelsey’s house and replacing all his healthy food with sweets … that and the cake which is upgraded - originally it had ‘Happy Birthday’ written on it while definitely meaning to be a sad, pity cake for someone friendless … now it has ‘Happy Retirement, Old Man!’ . Miles is absolutely delighted with this and does not even let Val make his coffee to which he calls out “Domestic Abuse!” but his husband is inconsolable, unconvinced and remorseless in his energetic pushing Val deeper into the woods dividing most properties around here. They are actually being nice here as their food swap is a way of saying thank you to Edgar who only grumbled for a week when Val had dropped their new car on his doorstep … in pieces. Took him few days to spruce it up after which he intended to repaint it as doors plus other parts did not match unfortunately Kelsey had not accounted for the likes of his best friend who proclaimed the mismatched car was ‘charming’.

Hopefully Edgar thinks their prank is just as charming. 


End file.
